Hopefully

My first son was perceived as a blessing. Conceived in a rest stop on Memorial Day

My second was perceived as an accident. Conceived in our bed when we were less than half awake

And my first son has a mind like a dagger. Sharp and silver and piercing deep beyond the skin.

And my second has a soul like the morning. Cold yet warming like it's shining through the trees 

    in the winter

          when the leaves are wearing thin.

But they both, someday, will be so much stronger than me.

And they will have to help an old man into bed and from his knees.

Where I will leave this life with family standing over me.

My brain is perceived as "creative". Making words do tricks like acrobats on a trapeze of complex human thoughts .

And my brain reminds me everyday of the tears that I've made fall and the hurt that I've brought.

And I've been told that every brain has two halves and that the left is used for calculating as being bright.

And although I know that both are strong in me I tend to always choose the right.

But they both, someday, will be so much stronger than me.

And they will have to help an old man into bed and from his knees.

Where I will leave this life with family standing over me.

Well your hands were made for painting and for planning and for writing down your dreams.

And your hands are used for holding me close no matter how distant I may seem.

And your hands are made for making sense of numbers that your left brain understands.

And I know you have a beautiful heart because it gives life to those hands.

But they both, someday, will be so much stronger than me.

And they will have to help an old man into bed and from his knees.

Where I will leave this life with family ...

 ... hopefully.

Unnerving Tone

What if I told you that I wanted to make music for a living?
Going out into the country and deep into the cities. Sleeping in the car and living off charity.
Would you follow me?

What if I told you that I have trouble believing in anything?
That the hopeless romantics and theologians and poets did nothing to alter my dreams and philosophies.
Would you still believe in me?

What if I told you that I rarely feel like I make the right decisions and I'm likely to second guess everything?
That my confidence  is a hook dangling out in the sea on a line called deception and the first man to walk across water will likely walk all over me.
Would you look out for me?

Or would you go?
Would you flee my unnerving tone?
There's probably not much that I know
but I know you'd come home.

And What if I told you that there's more than one person I'm okay with growing old with?
Would you punish me?
I know you've felt that way before but I've seen you shut your heart off and it's something I could never do.
So don't judge me too harshly.

And what if I told you that without you I'd die?
Would you laugh at the metaphor and call it "a lie"?
Or would you understand the imagery, the death that I am,
The destructive capability of a pitiful man who's judged fairly.
You could help me.

But if you go.
If you flee my unnerving tone.
There's probably not much that I know.
But I know you'd come home.

Nostalgia

I'm thankful for another Wednesday.
 The weekends are coming way too soon these days.
And though I know you'll soon be with me I can't help feeling a little less myself in the strangest ways.

So I'm hungry for a little closeness.
I can feel you in my twitching and my nervousness.
I can smell you on the breaze that passes by and I can taste you on my breath

But this, too, shall pass.
But this, too, shall pass
 as all things do in time. Right now you're on my mind. But this too, shall pass

The afternoon was getting muggy.
Now the sticky summer evening's folding into dusk.
I take an inhalation of the dark woods around me and the feel the earth turning in beneath us.

I'm hurting for some clarity now.
I'm calm although my heart keeps pounding in my chest.
And I can feel the weight of your head on my arm and I can taste you on my breath.


And now I wonder how my body knew.
I wonder why it lets the bad crawl through.
Your skin blocks out the light from the outside then lets the darkness get to you.

So you drove me home on Wednesday.
The weekend's just a little odd I guess.
I can hear  you in my nightmares and I can taste you on my breath.

But this, too, shall pass.
But this, too, shall pass
as all things do in time. Right now you're on my mind. But this too, shall pass.

Shaded plants

Things are starting to look good. We've gotten a good bit of the yard cleaned up and have started the gardening process. We still have a lot to learn and I'm sure there will be a good deal of trial and error but at least everything is looking better aesthetically.

Remember the huge pile of trash and clutter?

We've removed it all and in it's place we've added a fern garden (above) and a shade garden (right).

We've also fenced off the property, which 'll show you later, and we've cleared out a few other areas for vegetable gardening.

We plan to add Chickens, Goats, and some rabbits as soon as we get the plants settled in

Oppression Of Things

OK! We have been officially moved in for the last three days. And by "moved in" I mean we sleep there.

I actually just brought the refrigerator yesterday. See how happy he is?
Everything is coming together quite nicely in the tiny house though. Really enjoying my new kitchen

 Here is a picture I took from the staircase.The problem is that we now have less than half the space so three days after the move our yard still looks like this.

Needless to say there is still much work that needs to be done. Mostly figuring out what we do and do not need. I guess that's what minimizing is all about.

Bones likes the closet

A Busy Weekend

Hey! What's that title say up there^? It's been a busy weekend. So After all the crazy halibub and hububbiloo (real words) with the housing we has learned that we will be able to move into the barn after all.
This is good because it means

a. we will get used to living in a smaller space again

b. we can start saving more money and

c. did somebody say nanny goat?

 ... they didn't ... but I am.

    Nanny goat.

The first thing we noticed upon looking at the barn is that it looked like shit and was messy as an elderly asian woman perceives her hair to be at all times.  (don't get Yako's hair wet)
And the second thing we noticed i that it needed new paint.

So we spent the entire weekend cleaning out the barn, painting the barn and putting new windows in the barn and laying down floor. See? Look.

Here is Jennifer after laying down our recycled felt lining

There's the wood

This is a particularly tricky spot to lay floor

And here it is all done

Newly painted kitchen

And again sideways

Small walls in front of the entry way

Sideways "coat cubby"

Aaannnnd new windows

Like I said ... busy weekend.

And After Much Confusion

It's been a week of digging through piles of things and hauling off bags to the Goodwill and it still doesn't look like we've made a dent in our clutter. One valuable lesson we have learned is that before, when we had very little space, we believed that that was why our house was messy all the time. But now with three times the space I am seeing the exact same problems we were having before.

Something about human nature, or just our society, causes us to have the need to fill empty space around us, Even when we don't need to. No matter how much space we have we will always have enough junk to fill it because there is always more junk out there.

I'm reminded of a lyric from the show 'Spring Awakening'. "We've all got our junk and my junk is you".
Although out of context that is sort of the way I want to live. Replace my junk with people that I love.

On another note we are going to need to start figuring out which vegetables to plant soon because spring is creeping this way forward. Not sure if that's a real expression but I like the way it sounds. So much to do in a very short amount of time.

 ... creeping this way forward.

A Different Kind of Bed

                     Since the beginning of the Tumbleweed house is still a few months off we have been trying to focus, instead, on our survival skill set. Seeing as to how we live in a rather dirty neighborhood near a city in a house that had burned down with a "store" next to it it's safe to say that the soil here isn't.

Part of me wants to build a raised bed in the yard and fill it with soil but the other part of me wants to do some community recycling. My though is that we could get some old bath tubs or truck beds that tend to litter the streets here and repaint them with an eco-friendly paint. Then we could use THOSE as a raised bed for gardening edibles. Grow some food and help other people de-clutter. Win-win.

On a slightly other not ... another slightly different note?  I want to bring my old mini livestock cages over to the new house. Jen and I built them two autumns ago. We used it for rabbits but I just bet we could use them for some bantams. Not sure what the laws are around here but they can't be that rigid what with all the pit bulls running around off their leashes.

As you can see the rabbits found it cozy enough.

This will, of course, require some more fencing. A few sections of old wooden fence would work perfectly to keep the snoopers out.

Music

Here  is a video of us playing one of our songs in the Smokey Mountains. Not much else to post today.
Been trying to figure out what we do and do not need.

A Change of Plans

It's day two and already we have a big setback. Turns out we will not be able to move back into the house in Senoia after all.

We've decided the best course of action is to rearrange the order in which we execute our plans.

First thing's first. since we will be unable to start saving much right away because of rent and living expenses we are going to start construction on our Tumbleweed house as soon as possible. We can use any extra money to build the house while we are still living here and minimizing as we go. Hopefully the house will be finished by the end of the year.

Once we finish the Tumbleweed we can move in and park it for cheap somewhere and then begin to save for property.

We think with a little help and some smart buying we should be able to build the house on Jennifer's families property for fairly cheap in a little under a year.

We will, however, have to get clever with our farming practice. We're looking at indoor greenhouses and mini greenhouses to possibly use here since the soil is contaminated and we can't afford to buy all new soil to lay down.